Out of body experiences

There are nights when im turning off the lights in the apartment, and starting my routine preparations for bed when im struck by a thought. All of a sudden its like im finally slowing down enough to the point that reality catches up to me. All of a sudden the realization hits that im living on my own, something that hasn't been the case for 31+ years of my life. And the realization also strikes me that my father is still gone and will never come back. And those realizations act like a chill down my spine and I suddenly feel like a child who's lost and alone. After a few seconds the feeling goes away. Some nights it leaves a lingering sadness behind. I just had one tonight, and the sadness is hanging on. I think because its coming up on the 2nd anniversary of dad passing that they're lingering. Only tonights different because a new thought has struck me. I wonder if mom has moments like these and if they're any worse than mine. Sorry for the depressing post, just needed to get it off my chest.