Journal Entry - January 15, 2008

"I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between"
-What It's Like - Everlast

There’s a big
a big hard sun
beating on the big people
in the big hard world"
-Hard Sun - Eddie Vedder


Let's see...what happened today. Not a whole lot besides alot of snow. I was able to give somebody some good news at work today, so that was a nice switch compared to the past week or so. Honestly, I can't really thinkg of anything else "journal"ish to write. So I'll just go off on a tangent for a while..

I picked the first set of lyrics above for two reasons. A) it's what was playing on the Shoutcast station I was listening to as I worked on this post and B) It seemed like a good way to describe how life should be treated. Not so much from the pure irony standpoint the lyrics seem to take, but more from the standpoint that expectations are a tricky thing.

I picked the second set of lyrics above also for two reasons a) it's the second song that's come on since I've been working on this post and B) it kinda helps to remind me that life's unfair, and you gotta get over it.

Ok, enough with the lyrics, let's get down to the nitty gritty here. I didn't like the tone of my frustrations post the other day. I have this problem where I get caught up in this irrational idea that because I'm a supposed "good" guy and that I follow the rules and do what I'm "supposed" to do that I'm entitled to something as a result of it. I've tried to figure out where I got that idea from, but at this point I'm not really even sure if that would make much difference. Maybe it's just from being too logical of a thinker and looking at cause and effect so much throughout my life up until now. I dunno. Whatever it is, I need to find a way to counteract it. I should be able to accept what life gives me and make the best of it. and not get caught up in expectations and feeling due something. I guess that's kinda why I'm doing this again, this whole blogging thing, to try and document these times like these and try to work out in my head where I went wrong and try to find a way to make changes. I feel a little weird putting this out in the public like this, but I think it's necessary. I think I need to own up to my actions more and not just write them off. So any readers out there, feel free to call me on my shit now and then