A View into the Mind of copaX

So, I may or may not be back

2010-03-24T12:35:00.001-04:00

We'll see.

My Kitchen

2009-06-04T18:50:00.003-04:00

Vlog of a Vlog

2009-06-03T21:08:00.003-04:00

NOTE: there is no sound

And now for something completely different...

2008-11-26T14:43:00.001-05:00

Geeks trying to cook

And now for something completely different...

2008-11-18T14:55:00.000-05:00

A Vietnamese child singing pop music...

And now for something completely different...

2008-11-14T10:45:00.001-05:00

Eldery Ghetto Gospel Choir, courtesy of Videogum

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Love and Marriage

2008-11-11T09:49:00.002-05:00

I wish I lived in California so I could've had a chance to support love. There are so many sham marriages in this world between people that have no true love for each other, and how many couples had their chance to marry the one they truly loved just ripped away from them?

Charlie is the best baby evar

2008-11-07T13:56:00.001-05:00

omg...charlie is the cutest little guy I've seen in a long time. his little snicker laugh in the middle there did me in.

And now for something completely different...

2008-11-07T13:44:00.000-05:00

Serious baby are very serious

And now for something completely different...

2008-11-05T15:47:00.001-05:00

A Tiny Horse Running Around

to quote Videogum...That tiny horse is the physical manifestation of the word "Yay."

And now for something completely different...

2008-11-03T14:32:00.000-05:00

Bjork explains how a TV works...

Charles Meets Barack

2008-10-29T10:22:00.001-04:00

I like people like Charles. The world needs more people like him. Watching this video made me think about my grandparents and family elders. Made me think about how many I've lost. Grandma (Anna) and Grandpa (Frank) Copac, Grandma (Ruth) and Grandpa (Victor) Wise, Uncle Jerry, Aunt Rose, and of course Dad. I think about all the knowledge they had that I didn't get the chance to glean from them. I think about what it would be like to be able to hug them and sit with them and talk with them as an adult. Something I either never got the chance to do, or never did enough of with those I was able to. wow..this kinda went on a tangent.

Anyways, I like Charles. He's a good man. I'm happy for him :)

Angus Third Pounder - I'm lovin heart failure!

2008-10-27T14:34:00.004-04:00

www.angusthirdpounders.com

Nutritional Values

Ok, I get it. Supply and Demand. Market-driven economies. Blah Blah Blah. I still think something like this should be illegal. I'm totally riffing right now and haven't thought any of this through, but the idea off the top of my head is that no single food product from a restaurant should contain more than 50% of the average DV of an average 2000 calorie diet from the major categories (calories, fat, saturated fat, cholesterol, sodium, and carbs) If you want to be a dumbass and by two or three of them, go for it. But by default everything listed on a menu should be in the less than 50% range for a single "serving"

Oh, and while I'm at it, nutritional values should be mandatory on all menus. Go through a fast food drive through, you get a nutritional value sheet in your bag with your Super-sized HeartClogger Combo. If you choose not to read it, so be it. Sit-down restaurant menus would have an extra page in the back that lists the nutritional values of everything contained in the menu. Disclaimers can obviously be included saying that the values are not exact due to variations in product, but it should be within the ballpark at least.

Take ignorance out of the equation. Be open and honest with your nutritional information. I'm wiling to be at least 75% of the general public wouldn't change a thing if these things were put in place, so companies can still profit off of making us sick. But for the 25% of us who are trying to say "No more!" it would be a helping hand.

Weight Watchers Update - Week #2

2008-10-25T12:17:00.004-04:00

Weight: 341.6 lbs
Lost: 5.6lbs (1.6% of original weight of 347.2lbs)

So far, so good! First week was very successful. Though I think my numbers might be skewed a little high since I woke up this morning with some "stomach difficulties" (note to self: Might want to stay away from fajitas with peppers and onions for the time being) But weight loss is weight loss at this point. I've stopped the upward crawl, and I'm working my way down. I'm pleased by my results both because I feel like I stayed "good" in terms of my eating, and that I was able to lose this much with only doing 20 minutes of moderate exercise on the exercise bike once this week. I'm going to try to ramp that up this week. I wanted to get more of the diet stuff situated to start with, since once I start to regularly work out, I'm going to be that much hungrier, and at risk to fall back to old habits.

So far, the diet changes haven't been too bad. Breakfast I haven't changed except to actually add some fruit. Lunch has been the biggest change for me. Going out every day is difficult to stay on task (thank god for chicken caesar salads with no dressing) We went to applebee's on monday for lunch and I ordered from the WW portion of the menu. One did the 2 meals and an appetizer for $20 just for himself (he didn't eat the fries for his two meals, just the fried shrimp from both so that makes it 'ok') and I got garlic chicken. I was tested right out of the gate, because everybody else got their food and mine was delayed. Guess people don't order the WW meals that much, but they've always got fries and other fried things ready and waiting :-P Anyways, the WW garlic chicken was nasty. The chicken was acceptable, but was covered in this weird garlic slime. The broccoli I choked down along with the roasted red potatos. Lunches are going to be tough, but I'll find a way through them. For snacks during the day I had apples, grapes, pears, and rice cakes. Never filled me up, but helped keep the wolves at bay, so to speak. Dinner I had the best luck with. Thank god for extra-lean ground beef and ground turkey. I made tacos twice and whole wheat rotini with healthy choice tomato sauce and meat. Those meals helped tell the wolves to step off and find somebody else to howl at. I need to find some more variety for dinner stuff to make. You just work all day and come home and you just don't feel like taking the time to prepare something. I look at single parents and how much stronger they are than me for being able to work, and still put dinner on the table for themselves and their kids.

So, back to the grocery store tomorrow to restock on my lean meats and fruit. I hope to find more variety for dinners, keep up the good choices at lunch, and sneak in some more exercise when I can. Maybe if I get really crazy I'll try more vegetables, but for now, lettuce and spinach leaves will have to suffice. (DEATH TO BABY CARROTS! BLECH!!) If I can keep losing 5 pounds a week I'll be as happy as a clam, but I'll take what I can get :)

"At least this time it was short and dry"

2008-10-24T13:54:00.001-04:00

This...this right here is part of why I love It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

My New Workout Regimine

2008-10-21T15:55:00.001-04:00

Fuck kettlebells, fuck walking, fuck biking, fuck diets

this is my new workout routine. C'mon everybody..PONY!!!!!

Weight Watchers Day 1

2008-10-18T13:08:00.002-04:00

Well, I attended my first weight watchers meeting today. I signed up for the monthly pass, and got weighed in at 347.2 lbs (I left my shoes on for convenience). My first goal is 10% which is 34 pounds or a weight of 313.2 . Honestly, I have no clue how long it'll take me to get down there. I don't even remember the last time I was that low. According to the book I got for my first meeting, my healthy weight is somewhere between 205 and 211 pounds. That's a whopping 140 lbs I need to lose. I have very strong doubts that I can pull that off. But it's one goal at a time, and right now, it's 34 lbs.

At first there were only about 5 other people there. But more stragglers came in over time. Not a very lively group, but the group leader Marcie seems like a really nice woman. She lost 65 pounds on the plan. The topic of discussion was discovery, related to columbus day. she had items for each letter of the word discovery for visualizing goals, etc. I'm not sure how much I'll take from the meetings, but I'm going to commit myself to going to them just for the fact that it forces me to weigh in and keeps me honest. After the meeting I stayed for the new member session, there were 5 other people there, but 3 of them had been members before, so there was only myself and an older gentleman who were really "new". We calculated our point allowances, my came out to be 47, but 44 is the maximum on the plan, so 44's my number. the main thing I learned is it's not so much trying to stay as far under your number as you can, but using your number as completely as you can. I need to eat 44 points worth of food. So as a result I've got my work cut out for me trying to find food to eat. I looked at a couple of cookbooks they had for sale, but they didn't really catch my eye. I did, however, buy a fancy digital scale that you can use to weigh items directly into points values, so I'm hoping that that will help me get a handle on those food items that don't match the online points tracker. I'm going to have to really start digging up some new foods to eat, which I knew was going to be the hardest part for me. The geek side of me likes the fact that I've got the digital scale, plus the mobile version of the ww site so I can track points and look things up on the go.

If anybody has any good recipes or cooking sites/recommendations, please send them on to me either in the comments or to my email. Any help I can get with food will be much appreciated.

Childrens' Hospital - Coming soon to TheWB.com!

2008-10-16T16:33:00.001-04:00

I gotta make sure she's got the right type of arm guts in there!

Admission

2008-10-16T10:54:00.002-04:00

I'm obese. It's a big, literal and figurative, problem. And it's something that I can't control on my own. I've tried, and failed. I am hereby admitting that I need help with it. I'm going to go to a Weight Watchers meeting this weekend. If it goes well, I'll commit to a month's worth of it. I will be as open to it as I can (control freak be damned). I'm blogging this to admit to it, and hopefully as a motivation to stay up with it. I'm going to do my best to blog about my progress.

Currently, as of this morning, I'm 6'4 and weigh 342 lbs. Last time I was at the doctor's office (last week), I was 345, and he said I needed to lose 100 lbs to start.

I'm medicated for high blood pressure, esophageal reflux disorder (acid reflux), heart rhythm, and sleep apnea (pills and cpap machine). Most, if not all, of these things should get better if I'm capable of losing that much weight.

I know I'm not very physically attractive at this weight. I know that there are women who have been discouraged/bothered by weight when I've met them. Losing the weight should help with my confidence and my physical attractiveness.

My father died from heart related problems. I don't want to die the same way.

wow....this is disappointing

2008-10-14T11:18:00.001-04:00

So...this guy had the supreme court deciding whether he was too morbidly obese to be executed. according to the article he's 5'7 and 267 pounds. So I looked up the bmi calculator and found that he's 41.8 I put in my stats, 6'5, 340 lbs, and my bmi is 40.3. I'm moridly obese enough that the supreme court would've debated whether or not I'm too fat to be executed.

clipped from www.cnn.com

Inmate executed after Supreme Court rejects obese argument

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- An Ohio death row inmate was executed Tuesday after the Supreme Court rejected his last-minute plea that he was too overweight to be executed.

His lawyers have argued that the inmate-- at 5-foot-7 and 267 pounds -- is "morbidly obese," and has gained about 70 pounds since his incarceration at age 19. Prison food and confinement in his cell for 23 hours a day, limiting his opportunities for exercise, contributed to his weight problem, his legal team asserted in recent court filings.

DotDitWell 2008

2008-10-06T09:13:00.001-04:00

The 2008 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

2008-10-03T15:30:00.001-04:00

ingloriously stolen from io9.com:

Last night, the Annals of Improbable Research held its 18th annual Ig Nobel Prizes. The prizes are awarded for scientific and social achievements "that first make people laugh, then make people think." And this year’s winners include studies on puzzle-solving slime molds, the spermicidal capabilities of Coca-Cola, and the economics of ovulating strippers.

The prizes were awarded in a ceremony at Harvard University’s Sanders Theater in ten areas:

* Nutrition: Massimiliano Zampini and Clark Spence for demonstrating that, when the sound of eating a potato chip is modified, the eater believes the chip is fresher and crisper than it really is.
* Peace: The Swiss Federal Ethics Committee on Non-Human Biotechnology and the citizens of Switzerland for adopting the legal principle that plants have dignity.
* Archeology: Astolfo G. Mello Araujo and Jose Carlos Marcelino for demonstrating how the actions of an armadillo may scramble the contents of an archeological dig site.
* Biology: Marie-Christine Cadiergues, Christel Joubert, and Michel Franc for discovering that fleas on a dog jump higher than fleas on a cat.
* Medicine: Dan Ariely for demonstrating the high-cost placebos are more effective than low-cost placebos.
* Cognitive Science: Toshiyuki Nakagaki, Hiroyasu Yamada, Ryo Kobayashi, Atsushi Tero, Akio Ishiguro, and Agota Toth for discovering that slime molds can solve puzzles.
* Economics: Geoffrey Miller, Joshua Tybur, and Brent Jordan for discovering that a lap dancer’s ovulatory cycle affects the tips she earns.
* Physics: Dorian Raymer and Douglas Smith for mathematically proving that a heap of hair or string will inevitably tangle itself into knots.
* Chemistry: Sharee A. Umpierre, Joseph A. Hill, and Deborah J. Anderson for demonstrating that Coca-Cola is an effective spermicide, and Chuang-Ye Hong, C.C. Shieh, P. Wu, and B.N. Chiang for discovering that Coca-Cola is not an effective spermicide.
* Literature: David Sims for his study "You Bastard: A Narrative Exploration of the Experience of Indignation within Organizations.”

The 2008 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

Debates - get rid of 'em

2008-10-02T21:45:00.003-04:00

These debates are interesting, but it's mostly for show. I say we do away with the debates and worrying about how the candidates are saying things and switch to a Big Brother/Real World style situation. Take the last 4 months before the election, and put all 4 of them in the same house and force them to live together, give them topics/questions, but not shine a light on them and let them know when people are watching for their answers.

UPDATE: Make them prove their claims. if they dispute something the other one says "You voted for" "Obama didn't vote for" PROVE IT! cite your sources!

Book-spines turned into stories

2008-09-25T15:24:00.001-04:00

clipped from www.ninakatchadourian.com

Wait, what?!

2008-09-25T14:55:00.001-04:00

Watch these...

Watch CBS Videos Online

and seriously try to convince me that she's qualified to be the second in line to be president of the united states of america. Seriously. She continues to boggle my mind every time I hear her open her mouth.

I hope people protest this post

2008-09-24T16:06:00.001-04:00

I had a really long post written up, but stupid clipmarks barfed on it. Anyways, read the story, and if it makes you go "What the fuck?! Why would they do that?!" then you and I are on the same page

clipped from www.newsnet5.com

Workers Protest To Get Their Ponderosa Paychecks

The Ponderosa restaurant shut down last week, after nearly a dozen other locations closed earlier this month. Dozens of North Olmsted employees were left without jobs and paychecks.

Boukzam said he tried to sell some of the restaurants, but the deals fell through last week and he had to close several locations, including North Olmsted and Elyria.
The workers held a protest demanding answers and their last paychecks from Boukzam.
"I have five children and my husband doesn't have a job. We live on that paycheck, and now nothing," said former employee Chand Heer.
"It makes me upset because I have a 5-month-old son and now I don't have a job," said former employee Arrianne Songer.
"I had to ask people for money so I could pay my cell phone today," said former employee Peter Weber.

I may have to buy this book

2008-09-23T10:41:00.001-04:00

I'm an admitted addict to the LOLcats. If I ever decide to get a kitten, I will more than likely name it Kitteh, and talk to it every day in lolcat language. I would probably also end up trying to take LOLcat pictures of Kitteh and add my own captions. I'm not sure if I should be scared that the LOLcat phenomenon has gotten itself so firmly rooted in my brain that I still to this day laugh at almost every LOLcat picture I see or if I shud jus haf lotz of lulz n be happiez for the kitteh's! yay kitteh's!!!

clipped from icanhascheezburger.com

The burger team is excited to announce our NAWT SECOND (#1) Book, “I Can Has Cheezburger? A Lolcat Colleckshun”. On stands October 7th, and available for pre-sale nao at these fine establishments!

» Amazon
» Barnes & Noble

» Borders

» Penguin

Your local indie book store (find one nearby!)

A trip through blog history..

2008-09-22T14:55:00.003-04:00

I've been going through jennifer's blog lately, going back to her earliest posts. It's really interesting to look back on the things that at the time were significant, but now might not hold as much importance. and more interesting than that, finding the seemingly insignificant moments that ended up completely re-inventing the person she was and created the person that she is today. So I figured, why not go through my own blog and find some interesting moments that have happened. Join me :) *waves his hand in the air*

The Professional - June 2005 - This post is significant to me because of what I wrote in the body. That basically summarizes the relationship I had with Zak. I was also trying to make/keep him happy. I learned alot from my experiences with him, mostly about what kinds of people I do and don't want in my life.

TGIT - June 2005 - The apocalypse was basically somebody at work quitting. At this time, I couldn't handle changes like this. I would be wracked with anxiety. "How would we cope without so-and-so?? There's no way we'll be able to do what they did??" I had no clue what an apocalypse really was :)

life - August 2005 - This would be one of the first real tragedies since I started blogging. I still can to this day visualize myself the night of the fire. Standing in the cul-de-sac of their neighborhood, rain pouring down, firetrucks surrounding me, standing in inches of water, both from the rain and the firehoses, thunder crashing and lightning flashing, watching my sister's home and the majority of their belongings go up in smoke.

My Passion - August 2005 - 3 years later and I still don't have a passion. Not a good trend :)

Update in Four Parts - September 2005 - The significance of this post is the fact that my mom was in the psychiatric ward. This was one of those defining moments when you realize you're not a kid, and your parents aren't going to always be there to protect you from the world. My parents were my core, my rock, my foundation for so long, and this was one of the bigger cracks to that foundation.

Sick Day Post - October 2005 - heh. This is one of those times I really wish I had a time machine and could go back in time and change the past. But then I think that I wouldn't be the person I am today, had I not gone through the experiences with Kendra that I did. It's unfortunate that this was the beginning of the last 3-4 months of my father's life and I spent it getting myself wrapped up in a woman that didn't deserve my attention. C'est la vie. One of the biggest things I learned from Kendra was the fact that my biggest strength is also my biggest weakness. My willingness to make people happy can take on a life of its own if I'm not careful, and can lead me down the path where I put other people's happiness, health, and safety above my own.

Sunday Post - November 2005 - (editor's note: I was going to go through the whole blog in one post, but I've hit so many highlights in one year, that I'll break it up by year) The significance is this one is the work stuff. This was a period of time when I really had a problem with people saying I was wrong, or saying/doing things I thought were "stupid" I still have this problem, but I think I'm doing a little better in recognizing when it's rearing it's ugly head. But working at MIS has definitely given me the experience of working with difficult personalities. A big lesson I've learned that I need to focus more on is the fact that life will rarely go the way it should. Life is going to go the way it is, and we're going to just have to make the best out of it. We can't change people, unless they themselves want to change. And just because we think something's right in our head, doesn't necessarily MAKE us right.

I'm a mess - November 2005 - Man, you'd think I was hopped up on something the way I was acting back then. Love (or a convincing facsimile) can really fuck a guy up ;-)

Been a while - December 2005 - Things get hard with Kendra around here. Had I known what was in store for me the following month, I would've ended things much sooner.

Well, those are the highlights of 2005. Stay tuned for 2006, filled with the biggest tragedy I've suffered so far, plus hopefully a couple positive things mixed in for flavor :)

OMG

2008-09-18T16:06:00.001-04:00

Why....why why why why why why why?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

clipped from gizmodo.com

Epedermits is One Terrifying, Tattooable Toy

painting parties, knickers, and monocles

2008-09-18T14:44:00.000-04:00

where did this whole painting party concept come from? when did a difficult and time consuming chore become something that people want to force their friends to do with/for them? what's next? grass mowing party? deck building party? laundry party? Ho ho! those can be wild ones, especially if everyone's knickers end up intertwined with one another. Ho ho!! *puts his monocle back in his eye, since it fell out from his boisterous "Ho ho!" laughing*

sick day findings

2008-09-15T14:05:00.001-04:00

I'm home sick today, so I'm randomly surfing the internet from bed in between naps and runs to the bathroom.

I found this bbc series called Look Around You. It's a send-off of 70s educational films.

Freak Tuba Accident

2008-09-13T19:17:00.000-04:00

The World's Smallest Marching Band

2008-09-13T19:10:00.001-04:00

Random Thought of the Day

2008-09-11T22:07:00.003-04:00

I'm the most at peace sitting in a house where I can hear other people doing something. I don't need to see them, or know what they're doing. I just need to be able to hear them. Knowing I'm not alone and that someone else is there with me, brings me peace and lets me relax....

which explains why I haven't really been all that peaceful or relaxed since I moved out on my own :-P

Cat vs. Printer - Who ya got?

2008-09-11T17:08:00.001-04:00

Fast Food Diatribe

2008-09-04T21:37:00.007-04:00

me: how can wendy's advertise the baconator?
me: I just don't understand

g-door: LOLOL
g-door: why don't you understand it? LOL
me: how can that be legal??
me: it's so wrong
me: in any number of ways
g-door: LMAO
g-door: have you had one?
me: yet they can advertise it all they want
me: no, thakn god
me: I'd probably have a heart attack
g-door: it's not very good LOL
me: it doesn't look good with the fancy fake meat they use for the cmomercial
me: I can imagine the real "meat" can't look that good
g-door: yeah, it looks really nice in the picture....when you get it....it's all smashed LOL
me: so, cigarette ads have to be regulated, alcohol as well. but digusting horrible for you fast food can be shown any time of day LOL
me: you know, it's like when the whole biggie-size, supersize trend came about
me: and then people got pissed off
me: and then they just changed the names
me: and everybody forgot
g-door: ahuh LOL
me: oh, ok, it's a large size
me: that's fine
me: didn't they have an extra-biggie for a while there too?
me: I think they did
g-door: yeah, I think so
g-door: mmmmmmmmmmm extra biggie lol
me: ROFL
me: I remembner the drink was gigundous and I couldn't believe how many fries they gave you
g-door: LOL
g-door: it was a lot lol
me: it's like those damn mcdonald's commercials during the olympics!
g-door: LOLOLOL
me: I want to be like a random generic supposed olympic athlete! I'll eat a piece of fried chicken on a greasy biscuit for breakfast! like they do!!!
g-door: LO
g-door: ok door!!!!!
g-door: what sport do you want to do?
me: at this point I'd be perfect for anything that involves struggling to get out of a chair and ending up winded after taking a shower. oh and anything that involves the destruction of furniture/seating due to excess weight

Tim Heidecker's Anti Comedy

2008-09-04T14:53:00.000-04:00

Why I love the Mythbusters...

2008-08-29T09:23:00.001-04:00

So true...

2008-08-27T14:45:00.001-04:00

clipped from indexed.blogspot.com

Humbling.

The Legend of Neil

2008-08-15T09:57:00.003-04:00

If you've never played/seen/heard of The Legend of Zelda for the NES, then it's probably not worth watching this.

<a href="http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/legend_of_neil_1/" target="_blank">Legend of Neil, Episode 1</a>

Legend of Neil, Episode 1

If you've played it, then you have to watch this plus Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4

And the winner of the worst writing of 2008 is ...

2008-08-14T12:49:00.001-04:00

I think I can come up with something MUCH worse than that. I need to think about this a little.

clipped from www.cnn.com

And the winner of the worst writing of 2008 is ...

Garrison Spik, a 41-year-old communications director and writer, took top honors in San Jose State University's 26th annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest with this opening sentence to a nonexistent novel:

"Theirs was a New York love, a checkered taxi ride burning rubber, and like the city their passion was open 24/7, steam rising from their bodies like slick streets exhaling warm, moist, white breath through manhole covers stamped 'Forged by DeLaney Bros., Piscataway, N.J."'

Big Happy Funhouse

2008-08-13T13:49:00.001-04:00

BoingBoing has been giving me a ton of blogworthy stuff lately. basically I feel like I'm copying them these days. Anyways, check out bighappyfunhouse. Tons of creepy/funny/crazy 70-ish photos.

clipped from www.bighappyfunhouse.com

bighappyfunhouse

Ketchup rules!

2008-08-13T13:20:00.002-04:00

This is related to the Ketchup vs. Mustard debate glittergirl had last month.

clipped from condiment.portablefolkband.com

Ok, who's spying on me..

2008-08-13T09:13:00.000-04:00

Somebody setup a camera and recorded me working out, dammit!!

Your Own True Self

2008-08-12T16:02:00.001-04:00

I'm fascinated by this. I bet the filmmaker's could just sit there and talk to these gentlemen all day long.

clipped from www.boingboing.net

Your Own True Self (video)

On Youtube, in 5 parts: the 1993 documentary by Paul Athanas & Jay Rooney about residents of a Boston nursing home who became the stars of David Greenberger's wonderful Duplex Planet magazine. The film is a gently funny series of observations on our cultural fear of old age, documented in the course of interviews with 12 residents of the all-male Duplex facility in Jamaica Plain, NY MA.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5. You can purchase this on DVD too. (Thanks, Coop!)

Ohhh...I get it now

2008-08-12T15:07:00.001-04:00

and all this time.....it all makes sense now that I read this very handy manual

clipped from www.weirduniverse.net

A Boy Today…A Man Tomorrow

Here at WU Central, we're all about providing useful knowledge to our eager readers, serving as a resource to help them with their perplexities.

For instance, I cannot count how many times readers have written in with this question:

Well, now you need no longer live in darkness and confusion, as we present the scanned pages of a 1972 youth sex-education manual: A Boy Today...A Man Tomorrow. The cover is reproduced below, and the rest of the content after the jump.

Goatee Saver

2008-08-08T09:23:00.001-04:00

I may actually honestly buy one of these. I'm one of those directionally challenged men who can't shave a goatee straight to save his soul.

clipped from gadgets.boingboing.net

Cyborg-like shaving guard for goatee grooming

Rock the Vote...Choose Wisely...

2008-08-07T17:09:00.002-04:00

Dr. Ronald Chevalier

2008-08-07T16:57:00.001-04:00

I'm on a freaking blog tear these days.

House of Cards

2008-08-07T16:17:00.003-04:00

I'm so amazed by this. The video was done with no cameras or lights. it was all done with a laser radar system that by bouncing the lasers off of their faces or the houses, etc, a 3d point was determined. You can download the data for just Thom singing and using open source software run it on your desktop. They put the data out there so people could make their own visualizations based off of it.

Crazy Sprinkler Lady

2008-08-07T14:29:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Getting Comfortable with Discomfort

2008-08-07T11:03:00.001-04:00

Interesting read from UrbanMonk.net. I think this is my major problem these days, just coping with discomfort and not letting it swallow me up.

clipped from www.urbanmonk.net

No one likes to feel crappy, right?

Certain powerful sensations and emotions are simply uncomfortable, if not downright painful. For some people, feeling sadness or grief is nearly intolerable; others would rather cry for an hour than feel intense anxiety or fear. Having experienced some form of depression on and off since my teens (and having grown almost used to it), I’ve always fallen in the latter category. I’d rather bear those ills I know, if I have to bear any ills at all.

Interestingly enough, it was in experiencing some new ones that I learned something about the old ones, and stumbled across a more effective way of dealing with both.

Garfield minus Garfield

2008-08-07T10:06:00.001-04:00

Another fav webcomic of mine. The concept behind this one is Garfield cartoons with Garfield removed and only Jon left. It completely changes the tone of the strip. Even Jim Davis, the creator of Garfield, endorses it and his company is going to publish a collection of Garfield minus Garfield comics.

clipped from garfieldminusgarfield.net

garfield
minus garfield

Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb.

Cyanide & Happiness

2008-08-07T10:03:00.001-04:00

I love this comic. It's done by 4 separate artists so the character styles change periodically. It's very dry and a little inappropriate at times, but that just makes it that much funnier to me.

clipped from www.explosm.net

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2008-08-07T09:11:00.001-04:00

This is HILARIOUS!!

clipped from lovelylisting.blogspot.com

HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION

HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION
by
The Chair

Experiment

2008-08-06T12:25:00.001-04:00

I'm trying something new today called simplynoise.com. It's a web-based white noise generator. It also does pink noise and brown noise, but I haven't quite figured out the differences yet, other than they sound different. I'm listening to brown noise right now, and I have it cranked to the point that I don't hear anything else around me. I'm interested to see how it affects my focus and mood during the day.

clipped from www.simplynoise.com

Instructions:

Slide the orb

Find comfort zone

Enjoy auditory zen

Uses of White Noise:

Aid Sleep

Enhance Privacy

Block Distractions

Mask Tinnitus

Configure Audio Equipment

Soothe Migraines

and more...

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia at Comic-Con

2008-08-06T10:03:00.000-04:00

My possible wedding gift to Jen and Dan

2008-08-05T20:22:00.001-04:00

It'd be like their own private 7/11 in their backyard. Then on their 1st anniversary I can get them a slushee machine!

clipped from gizmodo.com

Grill Hot Dogs the Gas Station Way

ow ow ow OW OW!

2008-08-05T19:57:00.001-04:00

OW!

clipped from www.boingboing.net

How to give yourself elf ears

Here's an Instructable on how to give yourself elf ears. Body-Mod: Elf Ears (via Zoomdoggle)

It's Lovely! I'll Take It!

2008-08-04T13:39:00.003-04:00

Found a new site today called It's Lovely! I'll Take It! It's a collection of bad pictures posted on actual real estate listings.

Mr. Rogers' Subcommittee

2008-08-03T20:53:00.002-04:00

Kids today, and the world in general, need more people like Mr. Rogers. Not to be a babysitter, not to be a teacher, but just to be an advocate for a child. An advocate for someone who either can't speak for themselves, or can't find the words to express themselves.

Why America Is Fucked

2008-07-31T14:17:00.000-04:00

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

2008-07-29T21:46:00.002-04:00

This is one of the coolest things I've ever watched. It was done by Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Angel). It stars Neil Patrick Harris (who's having quite the renaissance since his Doogie Houser M.D. days) as a wanna-be evil villain who's plans keep getting thwarted by Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion) It's funny, it's got good music, good writing, and it's poignant to boot. And to think more people in this country are more interested in watching shitty reality vomit than watch something awesome like this.

w00t!

2008-07-29T20:09:00.002-04:00

I'm in such a freakin fantastic mood tonight (editor's note: they really need to add a sarcasm tag) and this article really just made my night even better! :)

Awesome!

So not only am I failing by not being able to get myself to work out 30 minutes a day, even if I was able to, it's not really going to make a difference! sweet!

I'm gonna go have a drink now.

Cat Bite Fever

2008-07-29T14:57:00.002-04:00

"It give her cat bite fever
Cat bite fever "

After work last night I stopped at Giant Eagle, picking up some groceries and prescriptions. I loaded up my car then went next door to the Hallmark store to pick up some birthday cards. My phone rings. I look at the caller id. "Restricted." I've had some recruiter calling me lately who has a "Restricted" number, and I also just don't appreciate people blocking their phone numbers when they call me, so I let it go to voice mail. I found a card I wanted to buy when the phone starts ringing again. "Restricted." I let it go to voice mail once again. I start down the card aisle when I start thinking. "That's kind of odd to get two 'Restricted' calls back to back like that, maybe I should listen to the voice mail" Turns out it's my mom. Calling from the hospital.

Time for a little back story. The winter after my dad passed away, a stray cat turned up at mom's house. We told ourselves at first that we were just going to let it go, but slowly over time we started to feed it, and put blankets out in the detached garage for him to sleep on. Then when the winter got really bad, we started letting him into the attached garage so he could be warm. He was a very loving cat, but he had a wild side to him and would nip at you if he got over excited. After I moved out of mom's house last august, she continued to feed and take care of the cat, as he was doing a fair job of keeping down the chipmunk population. He stayed outside during the day and mom would put out food for him and left the attached garage door open a crack so he could get in at night.

Flash back to present day. Mom was feeding the cat in the morning, like she always does, and he got over-excited and bit her, and she needed my help. I put the card back and ran out to my car, searched for the phone number to the hospital, and called the hospital. She got four decent puncture wounds and some scratches from his claws. Her arm was pretty swollen, red and sore. Since he was technically still a stray, they were going to keep her overnight for observation. I drove back home to the local hospital to check on her. We needed to catch the cat and get in touch with the Health Department, so I got a list of things mom needed from the house and headed over there. Luckily I found him in some bushes outside mom's house, and was able to coax him into the attached garage and close the door all the way on him. Since the Health Department was only open 8-4:30, I went back to the hospital with the things for mom and stayed with her until around 10 then drove back to the apartment.

This morning I went back to mom's. Took me a little while and a couple different pet carriers, but I was able to get the fella contained in a carrier. I talked to the Health Department who told me we could either quarantine him ourselves for 10 days or have him put down and sent down to Columbus for testing. After talking with mom, we decided the best course of action was just to put him down. After getting things coordinated with the Health Department and the Dog Warden, I loaded him in my car and headed off. He howled the majority of the way to the Dog Warden.

It was hard, because we really tried to give him a chance and came close to moving him into the house while I was still living with mom. I spent a lot of time sitting down in the garage with him, holding him in my lap, with a full winter coat and gloves on to "protect" myself in case he got too excited. And he would just sleep and purr in my lap. I doubt he ever got much in the way of love before he met us. I used to talk to him about Dad and just kind of vent a little, since I was still trying to cope with Dad's loss.

He stopped howling once I pulled up to the dog warden's, and he didn't make a sound when I took him inside and handed him over. I don't know if he knew what was going on or not. A couple minutes and $10 later, they came back out and gave me the empty pet carrier. I'm assuming he was gone before I left the parking lot.

I went back to the hospital and spent some time with mom. With only a handful of cable channels and not much else in the way of entertainment, I could tell she's already getting stir crazy. Her arm's still fairly swollen and red. Hopefully, if there is any infection, it doesn't get down into the muscles. Just a matter of wait and see and continued IV drugs for now.

So here I am, back at work now. Two "critical" issues on my desk when I came in, plus a phone call as soon as I sat down.

Such is life :)

New tv shows I've become hooked on

2008-07-27T15:42:00.004-04:00

I've gotten myself hooked on two new tv shows lately.

The first one is It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. This show is like Seinfeld: The Next Generation, or Seinfeld: On Crack. It's about a group of 4 people, Mac, Charlie, Dennis and Dee. They own a shithole bar in Philly. Dennis and Dee are brother and sister. Beyond that it's just alot of random craziness, as described in the wikipedia article, "including abortion, gun control, physical disabilities, racism, sexism, religion, the Israeli/Palestinian situation, terrorism, transsexuality, slavery, incest, sexual harassment in education, the homeless, statutory rape, drug addiction, pedophilia, child abuse, mental illness, gay rights, prostitution and Nazis." It is so wrong, and politically incorrect. You can watch it here on Hulu

The second show I got hooked on was Dexter. Dexter is a blood splatter analyst for the police but he's also a vigilante serial killer. Just from watching the first episode, Dexter's just such a unique character. He's a real anti-hero. You can watch clips here at Showtime's website

My Problems

2008-07-20T14:34:00.003-04:00

This is an experiment.

Loneliness

Trouble meeting new people (see: Fear of Failure)

Trouble getting myself to go to new places (see: Boredom, Fear of Failure)

Weight/Health

Trouble consistently working out

Concerns about exercising in the evening (Past issues with insomnia and possible apnea. Resolved with CPAP now?)

Trouble consistently waking up early enough to workout before leaving for work

Trouble giving up unhealthy foods

Lack of Control - Giving up what I like to eat, being told my efforts are wrong/not of value

Fairness - Why do I have to work so hard when others don't? (see: Entitlement)

Entitlement

Feeling that I'm due a "good" life because I do/did what I'm "supposed" to do

Lack of Inner Peace

Cause of other items or Effect of other items?

Need other people around/involved to be happy. (see: Loneliness)

Boredom

Trouble getting myself to go to new places/do new things (see: Loneliness, Fear of Failure)

Fear of Failure

Makes trying new things difficult (see: Boredom, Loneliness)

will update as more comes to mind. After this, my next step is to identify rational vs. irrational items (majority should be irrational). After that, I'll identify what things I'm currently doing that are positives towards changing these problems. Along with the positives, I'll list what things I'm doing that are undermining my progress. Don't know where this is going, but it was something that came to mind and made sense. Putting it here on the blog, is just kind of a way for me to own up to them and admit what's going on.

anybody got a spare 800 bucks laying around?

2008-07-20T12:01:00.002-04:00

I've got a camcorder, and I've used it a fair amount, but I've never been happy with the video quality. I hate how it looks like it clearly comes from a camcorder. I stumbled across this puppy one day though...

Canon VIXIA HV30

This little puppy records in High-Def which is a big plus, but the main selling point for me is it has something called 24p Cinema Mode, which records at 24 frames per second, which gives it more of a film-like characteristic. If my videos came out looking like this, I think I'd do much more "filming"

Long Walk Home from frankko on Vimeo.

woohoo! wonder if I have a shot?

2008-07-14T18:25:00.003-04:00

She would be my number 2 choice behind Tina Fey on the "Hot Hollywood Women I Want To Date"

Moment of Zen

2008-07-14T17:09:00.000-04:00

Rare Behind-the-scenes footage of Jacks of War

2008-07-14T10:53:00.002-04:00

Have you ever wondered how new games are created? Have you ever pondered what kind of thought processes go one during it's infancy? Well, wonder no more. I present to you rare, never-before-seen footage on the creation of a new game. The footage is raw, and real-time, so you can get a better understanding of how the brainstorming process works.

Moment of Zen

2008-07-09T13:37:00.001-04:00

Pretending to care about jennifer working

2008-07-09T10:33:00.000-04:00

Moment of Zen

2008-07-07T12:44:00.001-04:00

Squaw Rock

2008-07-06T14:32:00.001-04:00

Squaw Rock
Originally uploaded by chrisohio0122

I came up to Squaw Rock falls in the South Chagrin Reservation to read one of my Tao books and relax. It turned out to be a popular spot.

Weekend Update

2008-07-05T20:33:00.002-04:00

Jane, you ignorant slut....no wait...not that kind of Weekend Update...

Let's see. Saturday I cleaned the apartment. Vacuumed, did laundry, cleaned the bathroom sink and toilet, scrubbed the shower. In the evening, Todd and Kathy came over and I went with them around the block to Todd's cousin's house for a little get together. They have a Rhino (think 4-wheeler with a rollcage) and they were doing laps around the house. There was a very attractive woman, named Megan, there, but I didn't get much of a chance to talk to her. Todd started to hurt, so I drove us back to my apartment. Kathy and Todd said I should go back and talk to Megan some more, but I couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I called mom to check on her, then hopped in the car and headed towards Solon to see what their fireworks were like. Bad idea. 91 north was a parking lot. So I gave up, and turned onto a side street and weaved my way back south. I ended up hearing the fireworks at the apartment and watched some on tv.

Today I slept in, then spent most of the morning/early afternoon watching Top Gear clips on youtube and episodes that I'd dvr'ed. Around 2:30 I headed up to my cousins Darlene and Andy's house in Lyndhurst for another cookout. I ate too much, sat in the sun too long, and played volleyball with the kids too much, so I'm stuffed, burnt and sore tonight, but it was worth it.

Tomorrow will be one of those non-days. Today feels like a sunday, and tomorrow won't feel like a monday since I won't be at work, so it'll be a day of limbo inbetween sunday and monday. Should anything exciting happen, I'll update, but I wouldn't hold your breath. Because then you will get dizzy and fall over and I don't want that on my conscience.

...After

2008-07-03T19:47:00.000-04:00

Before...

2008-07-03T18:54:00.001-04:00

Moment of Zen

2008-07-03T09:23:00.001-04:00

I need a bigger oatmeal bowl

2008-07-03T09:15:00.001-04:00

Every morning when I make it, if im not careful it overflows the bowl and then I have a real mess.

Edit: I also need to learn to turn my phone sideways when I take pictures for the blog with it.

Hmmm….something’s not right here

2008-06-14T14:17:00.001-04:00

I got the mail this afternoon and when I looked in, I saw what looked to my bank statement. Odd thing was…there was no envelope, it was literally just the pages of my bank statement. and in the corner there was the postage mark. So….yeah….somebody mailed my bank statement with no envelope so any number of people at the post office were able to see what checks I wrote and to whom. So now I get to go into the bank monday morning and close out the account just to be safe. the lady at the 1-800 number was pretty stunned and at first said “Well, it must’ve been somebody from the post office who opened it” to which I replied “Yeah, I would’ve thought that too except it’s got postage on the first page of it.

UPDATE: I went to the bank this morning, got the same kind of response that I got from the 1-800 number. They were ready to let me walk out the door with just putting a flag on the account to check for signatures and id (which I didn’t ask but the thought crossed my mind…shouldn’t you be doing that already?) They asked if there was anything else I’d like to do like close the account and reopen a new one, to which I replied yes. They set me up with a new account, waived all the setup fees. I also turned off paper statements to avoid this happening in the future. They’ll be rushing me my new checks and debit card and hopefully I will have dodged this little identity scare bullet with only a little inconvenience.

Pop Quiz, Hotshot!

2008-06-13T14:29:00.001-04:00

Who’s drunk in this picture?

Random Thought of the Day

2008-06-13T10:12:00.001-04:00

Even if you do everything you think you’re supposed to do, chances are pretty high you’re not necessarily going to get picked. And that’s how life goes. You can let that fact knock you on your ass and get swallowed up by the disappointment. Or you can stand up, dust yourself off, take a deep breath, and take another step forward. And then take another one after that. and another one, and another one and another one…

You can’t expect what should happen or what could happen, but you have to accept what does happen.

Is Google Making Us Stupid?

2008-06-12T13:11:00.001-04:00

Found this interesting article today..

Is Google Making Us Stupid?

This passage really struck home for me..

“I’m not thinking the way I used to think. I can feel it most strongly when I’m reading. Immersing myself in a book or a lengthy article used to be easy. My mind would get caught up in the narrative or the turns of the argument, and I’d spend hours strolling through long stretches of prose. That’s rarely the case anymore. Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages. I get fidgety, lose the thread, begin looking for something else to do. I feel as if I’m always dragging my wayward brain back to the text. The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle.”

I haven’t been able to sit down and a read a book for years now. Like the author of that article said, I lose my focus after a few pages.

I was thinking about kids these days and how when my nephew ends up in college in 4 years how drastically different of an informational landscape it’ll be. The internet was still in its widespread infancy back in ‘94 when I started college. I remember being a Prodigy user back in the day. I had an email address through an honors english class I was in. I could get on the web in the computer science lab. But the majority of any research I had to do was done by trudging to the library, searching titles for something that might be somewhat relevant to my topic, trudging *editor’s note* did alot of trudging in college, must’ve been all the books I had to carry through the bookshelves, craning my neck to read the spines of the books to find the one I needed, taking the book back to a nook and skimming through it, trying to decide if it was relevant enough to my topic or not, putting it back, wash, rinse, repeat…

Now in the age of google and wikipedia and mobile devices with internet access, information is so readily available for us at our fingertips. But is that a good thing? I think it was a good character-building experience to have to go through the actual research process. It was kind of like a right of passage to get through higher education and achieve a degree. You want a degree? Prove it. Do the literal legwork necessary to complete the task put before you.

Random thought of the day..

2008-06-12T12:39:00.001-04:00

When I get depressed, I feel like nobody cares whether I’m happy or not, and I wish that someone would try to cheer me up. But when I’m depressed, people don’t generally want to be around me. So in order for people to be around me, I need to try to make myself happy again. By doing so, people are more likely to be around me. So, basically in order to get what I want, I need to get it for myself.

Make sense? dunno, that’s why it’s a random thought.

I suck (revisited)

2008-06-11T16:05:00.001-04:00

Way back in the olden days (summer of Aught 07 specifically) I put out a request for blog topics. I’m revisiting the comments I got from that request now.

Today’s request comes to us all the way from sunny Mentor, OH. Jenny asks “is it ok to joke at a funeral? (an essay on when it’s ok to bring out the funny)”

This is unfortunately a timely topic. Monday I attended the funeral for my best friend Scott’s father. With respect to that event, there was levity before the service itself and following it at the memorial meal. Personally I think humor is one of the more powerful coping mechanisms we have available to us. A properly timed and worded joke can short-circuit grief before it can get to that soul-crushing stage.

Looking back to when my dad passed (btw, Happy early Father’s Day, Dad!) I remember how on edge and exhausted and emotionally spent I felt the day of his (unbeknownst to us at the time) final surgery. When the moment came that the end had come, I was overcome with an explosion of negative emotions that had been building that day. Terror, rage, etc. I remember running out of the ward and just starting to punch the wall out of disbelief. Friends and family tried to console me, but for that minute or so, I was just shut off and running on pure emotion.

(inner editor’s voice) *cough* where are you going with this?

Anyway, the emotional wave finally crested and I was able to get myself back under control. The whole family went back out to the waiting room to wait for the next step. We started talking about dad. It’s strange, how many details of that night I can remember, but then some I can’t. Someone made a joke about something dad used to do. it might've been me. regardless, laughing at that point felt so cleansing. I helped ground me and realize that the clock on the wall continued to tick.

I think it’s something similar with respect to a funeral as well. There is a time and place to be one with your grief and let your emotions flow (ok, perhaps not to the wall-punching level, I admit) and to pay your respects. But I think at a certain point in time, grief needs to be reigned in, and humor does a really good job of doing that. It tries to remind us that no matter how terrible of a sorrow we’ve been through, that none of it should discount or lessen the good things that have come before it. I think if we spend too much time grieving that we can sort of “disrespect” those who have passed.

Humor at that point in time needs to be handled by a semi-professional though. You have to wait for the right moment. You don’t want to take attention away from the ceremony. But there comes a time when things have settled enough. There’s a kind of still in the air. Some of the “fringe” relatives and loved ones may have already left, and the “core” loved ones remain. If you time it right, and do it with enough care and love behind it, it can really turn into a joyous situation. I know following my dad’s funeral, my cousins and I got pretty laugh-winded, sharing classic Dad stories. And even joking about things not even related to Dad. Same thing occurred at Scott’s father’s memorial dinner. Like I said above, ….

Wow, great spot to get pulled away by work…Umm…yeah…anyway, no matter how bad we feel at the time of the funeral or memorial or the passing, I see humor as life’s way of reminding us that time keeps on moving along, and we’d best make the best of it while we can.

What to say…

2008-06-10T13:55:00.001-04:00

Jennifer says I need to blog more. So…yeah…guess I need to come up with more stuff to blog about.

I’m trying out Windows Live Writer. It’s supposed to make blogging easier. We’ll see. It’s got lots of tools which I’ll probably never use.

For now here’s a map of where I work. hooray!!!

Perception vs. Reality

2008-04-30T10:15:00.003-04:00

I have a problem. "HA!", you say, "and this is news how?" or do you? maybe you say "Oh cool! Chris has figured out something else about himself!"

That's kinda my point. Perception vs. Reality. Perception is like a pair of glasses with multiple, multi-color, variable prescription lenses. Looking at Reality through these special glasses can warp, distort, discolor, etc what Reality actually is. Not having a clear true view of Reality and relying on our Perception of it can lead us to unnecessary anxiety or irrational expectations.

So, in the example above, trying to guess what people would say is based on Perception. The first "negative" response is based on the Perception that I talk about my problems alot, which probably annoys people since that's all I seem to talk about, so therefore they would probably react in a manner similar to what I put. The second "positive" response is based on a different Perception that everybody enjoys reading my posts about my personal struggles and that they'd be happy that I've made a new "discovery". Which one's right? Which one's wrong? Does it matter?

Well, let's take a step back and look at the Reality. This is the tricky part, at least for me. This requires you to be able to recognize when you still have the Perception glasses on, and recognize when you still have one of it's distorting lenses flipped down over your eye. I've been trying to work on this since last weekend, and I've noticed times where I thought I'd flipped up all of the lenses and was seeing the Reality, when actually there was still a couple layers of slightly distorting lenses flipped down that were tweaking my view of Reality just slightly. (note: that whole last sentence was one massive analogy, but I didn't feel like putting ""'s around all the "facets" of it. seriously, I love ""'s, and can't seem to stop "using" them)

Anywho, back to looking at the Reality from the first example. Let's try to find the Reality. First off, I can't predict whether anyone will read this post or not. so how can I try to predict how people will respond to it? And even if, for some reason, I was able to predict that x number of people were going to read this post, how could I truly predict how they would react to it? In Reality, should I even give a crap about whether or not anybody reads this? No. I should be writing these for myself, and if someone happens to read it, so be it :) and if they happen to take something from it, so be it :) and if they think I'm full of BS and should stop writing about my crap, so be it :) The Reality is, it's not all that important anyways.

So, there it is, that's what's been on my mind lately. Trying to make myself recognize what is my Perception of a person/situation/event vs. what's the actual Reality of it.

Appreciation

2008-04-23T09:54:00.005-04:00

I appreciate...

that the weather has been beautiful this week.
the taste of a Robek's Strawnana Berry smoothie and a DiBella's turkey sub.
being able to get up in the morning, make my breakfast, watch the news, get showered and go to work.
being able to come home after work, make dinner, chat with friends online and channel surf
having full use of my mental and physical faculties.
my intelligence and my sense of humor.
my friends who care about me.
Jennifer, Dan, Rachel, Jen, Todd, Kathy, Scott, Garland, Denise, Jodi, Amy, Mike, Jennette, David, Sharon.
the fact that I can go to a store and buy most anything I feel like, without having to be concerned about paying my bills.
the fact that I'm not in debt.
that I'm respected at my job.
that I am very competent at what I do.
that I have freedom at my job to do things the way I see fit.
that I have a short drive to work.
that I have a nice apartment
that I have nice furniture
that I have a large collection of movies and video games
the fact that I can be 32 years old and still enjoy playing video games
the fact that I have the freedom to do what I want with my free time
a walk in Liberty Park, or the South Chagrin Reservation
all the parks and trails that we have throughout northeast ohio
my family
Mom, Caryn, Joe, Ben, Will, Molly, Connie, Don, Darlene, Andy, Barbara, Sam, DeNiece, Thelma, Cindy, Kay, Ralph, Craig, Carol, Katie, Annie, Grace, Victor, Cary
having a fan for when I feel hot
being able to drink clean cold water when I'm thirsty
having the foresight to be able to study myself and learn from my mistakes and grow as a person
having had a father for 30 years of my life

...More to come later

Update 3:16 pm

sending good morning emails to Jodi, Rachel, Denise, Jennifer, Scott and Garland
sending Time Check emails to Jodi
making Jennifer cry now and then
making Jennifer hard type
"therapy" emails/ims with Jennifer
hours-long phone conversations with Jen
acting random and goofy just because I can
having a blog where I can dump whatever thoughts are in my head
music
finding new music I've never heard before but really like
finding classic music I've never heard before but really like

omfg

2008-04-18T14:19:00.001-04:00

Taking a break from my content as of late to post this video...I'm amazed

Optimism (Anxiety Part 2)

2008-04-17T16:16:00.004-04:00

Where does Optimism come from? what gives some people the ability to see something that's still formative, new, or unknown as a potential success? Are we born with optimism as a child and can lose it as we grow into adults? I really don't know how to answer those. I look back, and I have a hard time seeing whether or not I've been an optimistic person. I think as time went by and "bad" things happened to me (and by bad I just mean unfavorable or difficult or trying) my natural anxious tendencies kicked in. But I don't know. maybe optimism is too black/white of a concept? maybe optimism isn't what I should be striving for, but just realism. trying to take a rational view of the future, and accepting that some things could go bad or good, and give them equal weighting. I'll edit/post again when I think of more.

Update: Good comment from Glittergirl..."i think folks like us are more sensitive to stuff, and it's hard at times, but it's also a gift. we see a lot of beauty in things others miss."

This kind of highlights my point but not in the way she intended. That statement, at it's core, is one of positivity. Calling it a "gift" and being able to see the "beauty" in things. I had to stop and think for a second, because that's not I would see it at first. What is different about her brain, her experiences, her life, and my own, that leads us to those different viewpoints? We've both been through hardships in our lives, so it can't be that. Maybe she wants to believe that more than I do? Something about her allows her to appreciate the positive side of things. Maybe those of us with the "worry gene" as she put it over time develop the ability to say "fuck it" and take away some of the worry gene's important or effect?

Something else I've thought of is that I may have gotten my hopes too high early on in life and those unrealistic expectations were dashed enough times to make me "gun-shy" to having even realistic or rational expectations. Somewhere along the line I got hooked on the idea that good things happen to good people. I wish I could remember when and where I got that concept and in what context, because I think that's been a big problem for me. I think my negativity towards the future and the unknown is a mix of frustration that I'm not getting what I "deserve" for having done the "right" things in my life, and too many dashed unrealistic hopes that led me to make the deduction that hopes and dreams generally get dashed...

I dunno. Will post more as thoughts come to mind.

Anxiety

2008-04-16T20:51:00.003-04:00

So, I had an anxiety attack this week. I've started seeing someone new. Things were going pretty darn well at the start, better than most of my previous relationships have started. But I still ended up having an anxiety attack. As I've done before, I let my mind wander and get caught up in the emotions of the moment, and started to project into the future. For some reason, the future to me is full of fear and potential disappointment. I'm not sure why I do it. I'm hoping that by typing out this blog post that maybe I'll get a glimmer of a clue. Anyways, I started projecting to the future that we're going to end up in a relationship, and that I'm not going to feel as strongly about her as she feels about me, and that I'm going to have to disappoint her and hurt her feelings or break her heart. I flipped out and nearly ended the relationship. We were able to talk and I let her know about some of my problems, and I think things are better now. But the stigma's still there. So, why can't I be optimistic about the future? I can't control what's going to happen, but I also can't expect things to go wrong. I dunno. Anyways,I'm going to take a break for now. I'll write a follow-up later or in the morning.

Update #1: Whitey makes a great point in his comment "The only thing I can tell you is that after I faced the scary moments, wether they turned out in my favor or against, I didn't have to be afraid anymore. It was over..." That initial hurdle for me feels insurmountable somedays. When it's something I have to face alone, I buckle. If it's something I'm doing in a social situation with people I feel comfortable with, I have more strength inside, or I don't give a shit nearly as much about how things will turn out. when I'm on my own, I lose faith in myself, or I fear the outcomes too much. More updates to come as things pop into my head

My Johari Window

2008-04-09T21:21:00.003-04:00

Arena

(known to self and others)

caring, intelligent, logical, silly

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

able, accepting, adaptable, clever, complex, dependable, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, kind, knowledgeable, loving, mature, modest, observant, reflective, relaxed, searching, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

Façade

(known only to self)

introverted

Unknown

(known to nobody)

bold, brave, calm, cheerful, confident, dignified, energetic, extroverted, idealistic, independent, ingenious, nervous, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, religious, responsive, self-assertive, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense

Dominant Traits

60% of people agree that copaX is caring

All Percentages

able (10%) accepting (10%) adaptable (10%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (60%) cheerful (0%) clever (30%) complex (20%) confident (0%) dependable (10%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (20%) giving (30%) happy (10%) helpful (30%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (10%) introverted (0%) kind (10%) knowledgeable (20%) logical (10%) loving (10%) mature (10%) modest (10%) nervous (0%) observant (10%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (30%) relaxed (20%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (50%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (10%) sensible (30%) sentimental (20%) shy (10%) silly (10%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (10%) warm (30%) wise (10%) witty (30%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 30.4.2008, using data from 10 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view copaX's full data.

Lyrics

2008-03-11T14:06:00.001-04:00

"I wanna get lost in my life sometimes
sit on the side and watch the world go by
I wanna get lost and I don't know why
Sometimes I wanna get lost and I don't know why
Sometimes I wanna get lost and just dream for a while"

"I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?"

Blizzard of Aught 8

2008-03-09T17:34:00.004-04:00

The view this morning when I got up..

(note the far left white car. See that stick like thing sticking up out of the snow? Yeah, that's my snow shovel which I had left outside. Someone conveniently borrowed it last night to try to dig themselves out, but didn't bother to put it back. Needless to say the shovel stays inside from now on)

And here's the view this evening, after an hour or so of shoveling 2-3 foot drifts and some thawing thanks to the wonderful sunshine.

Random

2008-02-15T20:46:00.006-05:00

I don't know where this is gonna go, just kind of a free association post...

Life's like a river.

I've heard a few people tell me that, jennifer for example, and I've read some books that refer to it that way.

Sometimes it's calm and peaceful..

(source)

..and other times not so much

(source)

There's this sense that we have more control over the flow of this river than we really do. We try to paddle or swim, or redirect the flow, but all we end up doing is wasting our energy and getting ourselves frustrated. Would it be nice if the river flowed through that beautiful valley over there?

(source)

Sure would. Will it? Maybe, maybe not. Should we let ourselves get upset if it doesn't? Only if you thrive on frustration, which last time I checked most (normal) people don't. (I gotta admit, I've known at least one person in my life who did, oddly enough). So, what can we do? Things would be really cool if we ended up in the pretty valley. What we have to do is make the best out of what we have. We have to make the most out of the path that the River of Life ends up taking us. Sure things could be better. But who's to say there's not another valley up ahead that's just as pretty, maybe even prettier.

Ok, so we can get our hopes up that around the next bend will be another valley right? If you're the gambling type, then go for it. But wouldn't it be a bit more peaceful, and maybe even more fun honestly, to just ride along with the flow and see what happened? Not have expectations about what's around the bend, just have a keen interest to see what's there. For better or worse, just patiently wait and see what's around the bend. Not like we should just close our eyes, lay back and blindly float down the river. A) you still have to make some minor course corrections here and there to avoid the rocks and the shallow sections and B) where's the fun in that?

That's like taking a long car trip sitting in the backseat of a station wagon with your nose buried in books the whole way. I should know, that's how I lived most of my childhood. Anytime we went anywhere, I had to make sure I had toys or books or games that I could do along the way. I ended up missing a lot of life by doing that. I also ended up with a rather horrible sense of direction, that I'm still trying to overcome in my adult life. (thank GOD for GPS units). I had a point somewhere around here I was aiming for....hmm, must've fallen under the desk. Ah, there it is. Anyways, the point is to open your eyes and be witness to where the River of Life ends up taking you. When it's pretty or not so pretty, there's still much to be learned from where it takes us.

UPDATE: Music recommendation. Yael Naim - Endless Song of Happiness. Listen to it.

it's batTERies, not batTRies, ya bloody wankah!

2008-02-09T11:18:00.000-05:00

and there were no pieces of wood on fire, so where's this supposed "torch" he speaks of...god, you'd think he was a foreigner or something

Glittergirl's famous!

2008-02-08T10:03:00.003-05:00

Sorry glittergirl, but I took your video down for a while. It loaded up everytime my blog loaded and kept freaking me out.

Glittergirl's WKYC Page of Famousosity

Some things change...

2008-02-05T19:47:00.000-05:00

some things stay the same.

a looooooong time ago I gave eharmony a try. Well, some friends of mine are in burgeoning relationships, so I thought, "You know what, I've gone through alot of personal development in the past couple of years. Maybe I've changed enough to be a better match for someone." So, I went through the peronality test again. I cleared my mind and just went with my gut and answered the questions honestly. At least, 3 years later, eharmony doesn't appear to reject people outright. This time I was allowed to upload a photo, so I thought there was a chance. Got in, and was presented with my "home page". 0 matches :)

I'm actually sitting here smiling about it, chuckling.

I've been reading books about Taoism lately, trying to find some inner peace and happiness. Guess that's why this isn't really bothering me that much. Last time this happened, I reacted a little bit differently :)

For those curious about Taoism, I recommend reading The Tao of Pooh I'd get into details, just take my advice and read it. it's a short book, easy read.

Found Cameras and Orphan Pictures

2008-02-04T12:20:00.001-05:00

Found Cameras and Orphan Pictures

Interesting site concept. Basically if you run across a memory card or camera with pictures on it, you send a couple in that would be the most identifiable and hopefully through the power of teh intarwebs and good old word of mouth, they can be reunited with their proper owner.

I think it'd be fascinating to find someone else's pictures like that. Does that make me voyeuristic? That I want to see other people's pictures? I don't have any ulterior motives, I'm just fascinated at seeing how other people live their lives compared to mine. I also have the same problem when I'm riding in a car in the evening down a street with alot of houses. I tend to try to look into the living rooms where the lights are on and the curtains/blinds are open. Not because I want to spy on them, it's just merely curiosity's sake. I tend to think things like "Wow, the average television size has gotten insanely big." or "That's a very interesting way to have your living room setup."

I also have started going to the Art section of Borders, and checking out as many of the Post Secret books as I can, looking to see if anyone left their own postcard in it, like I've read stories about people doing. No luck yet, but I'll be sure to let everyone know when I do.

A View into the Mind of copaX

So, I may or may not be back

My Kitchen

Vlog of a Vlog

And now for something completely different...

And now for something completely different...

And now for something completely different...

Love and Marriage

Charlie is the best baby evar

And now for something completely different...

And now for something completely different...

And now for something completely different...

Charles Meets Barack

Angus Third Pounder - I'm lovin heart failure!

Weight Watchers Update - Week #2

"At least this time it was short and dry"

My New Workout Regimine

Weight Watchers Day 1

Childrens' Hospital - Coming soon to TheWB.com!

Admission

wow....this is disappointing

Inmate executed after Supreme Court rejects obese argument

DotDitWell 2008

The 2008 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

Debates - get rid of 'em

Book-spines turned into stories

Wait, what?!

I hope people protest this post

Workers Protest To Get Their Ponderosa Paychecks

I may have to buy this book

A trip through blog history..

OMG

Epedermits is One Terrifying, Tattooable Toy

painting parties, knickers, and monocles

sick day findings

Freak Tuba Accident

The World's Smallest Marching Band

Random Thought of the Day

Cat vs. Printer - Who ya got?

Fast Food Diatribe

Tim Heidecker's Anti Comedy

Why I love the Mythbusters...

So true...

Humbling.

The Legend of Neil

And the winner of the worst writing of 2008 is ...

And the winner of the worst writing of 2008 is ...

Big Happy Funhouse

bighappyfunhouse

Ketchup rules!

Ok, who's spying on me..

Your Own True Self

Your Own True Self (video)

Ohhh...I get it now

A Boy Today…A Man Tomorrow

Goatee Saver

Cyborg-like shaving guard for goatee grooming

Rock the Vote...Choose Wisely...

Dr. Ronald Chevalier

House of Cards

Crazy Sprinkler Lady

Getting Comfortable with Discomfort

Garfield minus Garfield

garfield minus garfield

Cyanide & Happiness

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

HOW I SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION

Experiment

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia at Comic-Con

My possible wedding gift to Jen and Dan

Grill Hot Dogs the Gas Station Way

ow ow ow OW OW!

How to give yourself elf ears

It's Lovely! I'll Take It!

Mr. Rogers' Subcommittee

Why America Is Fucked

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

w00t!

Cat Bite Fever

New tv shows I've become hooked on

garfield
minus garfield